The Experience Of An Inexperience.

It all started when I got an consideration e-mail from Alpha Entertainment for another audition.

I told my friend Ariel first and she was shocked? She asked me whether I really want to do this or not. But at that moment the only thing I could think is 'I really want to do this!'

She told me to tell m parents. I was planning on how and when to ask. Inside myself I was fighting with my heart and brain whether they will think twice and accept my request or just say I'm stupid.

Before I asked my parents, I plan a little something so nothing could go wrong. I asked my Singapore friend whether I can come over to her house to stay over because the next day they were coming over to stay at my house eventually. She text me back saying

WOW! Cool! Sure, sure! You can come over!

I was happy for a second then, I thought about her parents, what will they think of me?
I asked for her parents permission and fortunately, uncle was willing to help me after all!

Then I asked my dad on an engagement party three days before the audition. I wasn't sure what his answer was but I was already practicing my songs. I had this feeling tht I will go to the audition no matter what. When I asked him he got really mad and said,

"What?! You crazy, no,no!"
"Why can't I go?! They called me back!"
"I sad no means no! You are just wasting your time!"
"Why?! Give me a reason!"
"No, means no!" And then I god mad and didn't talk to him.

Why wouldn't he tell me his reason for his denial?

Then, that day I couldn't sleep at all. I text my Ariel and she gave me a lot of encouragement. I was on the rage of crying and I did.

Sleeping with a heart break was not a good idea. I woke in the middle of the night thinking what should I do.

The next day, I ask for confirmation from my Singapore friend. saying that if I come one day before and you help me take a bus and go there but she was really good she said her dad can help me send me to the auditioning place and her brother will stay with me.

I was all great and I messaged my dad since it was awkward talking to him for me. Then he called me back. I knew he was going to asked about it.

And we talk. He said, "Ma. what is this? You really want to do this is it?"

"Yes. Can I? Please! I asked permission from uncle already. they say can!"

"Okay, okay, I will bring you then,"

I was seriously jumping up and down.

Then I had a dream of me in the audition and I was lost of lyrics and I couldn't sing and I mumble something. Weird....

Then I still didn't talk to my dad the next day. I told Ariel that I was going for the audition! My brother kept on saying you are crazy, as if they are going to choose you...!

I was a little heart broken because I didn't get any family support. The only support was from my two dearest friends.

And the next day, one day before the audition, In the morning, while having breakfast. My brother brought up the topic. So are you going to Singapore today? Loud enough for my dad and mum to hear.

I said, "Yes, appa is bringing me,"

"What?!" My mum started.

"Appa told me he is bringing me,"

"Dad what is this?" My mum ask dad.

"Ah...she is just crazy. You are not going," He simply said. I was frozen. Did he just say that?!

"Dad but you told me you are bringing me!"

"No you are not going! Think about what uncle will think when you just go and burden them!" My mum shouted.

"I just want to go!" I was on the verge of crying but I control.

"What are you going to do? People with talent go not you!" tht hurt me a lot.

"Ma, just keep quiet," my dad told me.

I just stood there fidgeting with something in my hand on that time. I think it was a pipe presser. Then my brother asked me what are you doing? I threw that thing over him and ran out of the kitchen, sat on the sofa and read my novel.

I keep on reading and listening to the song I wanted to sing for the audition.

I never moved away from my place. Then after my dad went to work about two hours later, I had a call from my dad.

He said, "Okay, get ready at night later. You are going today,"

I was jumping already inside!!! and I asked," What? why?"

"Uncle called me he said he got no work and wants you to come over,"

"Oh! Okay, "I kept cool on the phone and I kept cool outside too but seriously happy inside!!!!!!!

Then at night I got ready, pack my stuffs and clothes. My mum didn't know that I was going. And I told her whn she ask me what are you packing?

I told her Dad is bringing me and my mum stay, "You crazy?" but I ignored her.

I told her goodbye and went out.

@@@@@@@@@

Reached Singapore and stayed at my friends house.

You know what time I slept? At 1.00am! And I had to wake up at 6.00am the next day!(Well, it's officially the next day already)

Me, my friend's brother and my friend were singing talking and talking and then we had to sleep. Uncle wanted to wake us up at 6am.

I felt like I just slept for one hour and it's already 6am! Uncle came in and wake us up!

I went and took my bath after Satish( My friend's brother's name) and Jaishree took her bath after me.

I wasn't nervous in the morning. We had breakfast at a hawker centre at 7am. I had roti canai but I wasn't that hungry at all but I still force myself to dump it in my stomach.

Then after a five minutes drive we reach our destination or MY destination.

It was an auditorium. And I reached there at 7.55am. The registration starts at 8.30am, I was early.

When I reach there there where only like 25 of them there and I thought am I in the wrong place why so less people?

Then after a few minutes the crowd came flooding like a sea!

Luckily I lined up in the first row with my printed Special Audition form. I was the 6th person in the line and when I turn behind to see............

I was ONE LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGG QUEUE!

I guess around 500 people?! I didn't really count!

Then the CEO came and told us to go inside the auditorium and we took our seats!

Jaishree and Uncle left because she had to go to school and Satish stayed outside playing with his Iphone.

I made friends with two girls next to me. I can't remeber their name actually. They are 0951,0952 (They tag number. Everyone supposed to have this tag! Mine is 0953!)

They were friendly and one of them told me I had a sweet smile?! (For one second I was like uh??! My smile is sweet??!! Then I thanked her! She was really sweet!!!)

We talked about where we came from and what we were studying. They were surprise that I came all the way from Malaysia.

Then we told to line up and it was so fast!

I stood up line in the row, Went into a room where the judges were.
3 of them!
(Here's a brief explanation on them!)

3 casting directors from Alpha Korea for this coming auditions and Jan's JYP Alpha audition: all are formerly from SM
1) Manager of TVXQ, SNSD, Kangta
2) Casting Director - most of the artistes from SM
3) Head of Training - scouted Zhou Min and Victoria. Trained SNSD, SJ, SJ M, F(X), 3 members from SHINee

The nthe 1st person started to sing! She had great voice! Then 2nd then 3rd, 4th, 5th! And finally me!!! the 6th!!!!

I was having a weird nausea in my stomach but I calm myself. I started sing my Keep Bleeding verse

And it's draining all of me ( I lost myself in the song!)Oh, they find it hard to believe ( I NEARLY FORGOT THIS LINE!!!)I'll be wearing these scars for everyone to see (I crack my voice at the 'SEE')

I cleared my throat 'erg emm' and continue singing.

I don't care what they say, I'm in love with you They try to pull me away but they don't know the truthMy heart's crippled by the vein that I keep on closing
You cut me and open I ( The guy judge stop me before I could go on high tone!)
I went back to my place and the next person went for her chance.

Then it was over! I was in the first batch and my audition WAS OVER!

I went out and went into the auditorium back because the staffs asked so. Then a lot of reporters came in taking pictures of us and asking questions. One came to me!

She told me she took a picture of me singing and she ask for my details.
Like where am I form? What am I doing? How long did u practice? How old am I?

You know what a lot of them couldn't just believe I am 18 YEARS OLD!! WHY???!!! WAEYO??!!

Then some one just came up to me and said Mediacorp wants to interview you, can you coem over? I was like what??!! me??!! OHNO!

Then I followed him. He said this is for Channel 5 news and Vasantham Tamil News!
I was shaking already? Would everyone see this??!! Great, I'm DOOMED!
The reporter told me to answer her questions in Tamil.

She ask Why did you came here?
Ans: (I seriously was babbling something!!!! )I told them I like singing since I was introduced to music. I've know kpop for tow years and my friends gave me encouragement do I came to try my best.

What are you going to do in future?

Ans: (In future??!! I have no idea what to answer and I can't remember what I told them!)

Then they said thank you and you can go.
I saw Satish waving at me and putting his thumbs up. So I just laughed at him from far away.

Then when I got back to the auditorium, they say we can all go back and wait for the results in a month time!

I came out running towards Satish and I told him. Well I came at 8am and finished at 11.00am! So fast rite?

I told him about my interview with the Mediacorp and he was excited!

Then we went back home, Uncle came and fetch us.

We had lunch, drawed for Satish some bicycle parts and then followed him to his tuition place and stayed there for 3 hours!

Then Jaishree's mum bring us to McD! When I was buying Vanilla Ice Cream I saw a Human Size Card of MINHOO!!!!! SHINee's Choi Minho for Etude House shop! He was standing outside! Hahaha! I couldn't keep my eyes away from him! I wanted to take a pic with him but my aunt use the other way to go back! Bad!

Then we went back home! Uncle wanted to see me in the Vasantham News at 8.30pm and then he told me he will bring be back home together with Jaishree and Satish!

So we waited for the News to air! I was excited but nervous at the same time! The News went on but I didn't appear. Then we thought they didn't air it or what...then 5 mins before the New going to end, the News reader talked about Alpha Audition that was held in Singapore that few dreamers came to get a chance for their stardom! And I screamed when I saw me! Omo! ME!!!

It's me!!! IT'S ME! I ran to the TV to hide myself! I was seriously babbling! I was embarrassed! I thought of my parents. What would they think of me?!

Oh, no, no! Without me knowing Satish recorded me talking in his Iphone! That's super great! ARGH!!!

Then we went back home! My dad called Uncle and uncle told about me appearing on News. He didn't believe my uncle at first but then he got a call from his insurans client telling him she saw his daughter on TV talking to the journalist. He thought I was stupid and crazy because he didn't see the news.

We reach home. JB finally and I messaged my friend to tell her I came back!

Then Satish showed my parents the video he recorded! I was really shy and I said NO, NO! DON'T SEE!!!

Then at around 11.30 another one of my aunty called my dad saying she saw me in the News! My dad was like, "What is going on?!"

So, the fame goes on where one of my college friend called me saying she saw me in Channel 5 news! She was like." Hem!1 I saw u! I saw on the news! You were auditioning!!"

And then, after a few days later, I went to Singapore again for my Dad's friend;s Party and The Whole Family saw me on News! They keep saying that!

Goshh! I don't know what I was feeling happy or ....err....because it's something new to me! I've never been so much talked like this before by others.

"Hey, I saw you on the News! What did you do?! Korean pop song? What song you sing?"

This is the only line I keep on hearing from the others!

I even addad the CEO on FB! How cool could that be??! Uh?! But I don't know what he expect form me when he asked that question to me! "What do u want me to do if you are not selected?"

So, Yup! That's it!

I, Coffee, sincerely thank my friend, Ariel, Tea and Jaishree's family and my family for all they have been supporting!

I'm looking forward for my result!