oh..LIFE ISN'T FAIR AFTER ALL...

it's been months i haven't update my blog..
busy and lazy ..
exam just over last thursday...
and it has been a memorable day..as usual..

today..
i woke up..
straight to the bathroom to brush my teeth...
then i came out ..oopss i didn't take my bath..HAHAH
i played CAREM with my brother. Its a gift that i bought for him..he wanted something big so..here it is as big as a dining table...
(but before that i also bought some present for my friend who had her birhtday last friday..i bought her a nice one..she's been my friend ever since i know her..)

then i took my breakfast.
then i have a bath..later i read the newspaper..
i got boring easily because i anjoy fun moments alot..there was nobody to talk ar play around in the house..
so i decided to on the computer..
the first thing i did was went to the searh and press youtube..
the another internet,press facebook..
i check my facebook and there was a comment on my profile's status...
the in youtube i saw some video that wei seen told me to loook for like f(x) Nu ABO,bonamana.
then i also watched a funny video of SHINee's Key in raising idol where he have to be a chef..
it was really funny..
then later on i went to my blogspot..not even a single person from this share update it..so idecided to update it..
before i update i went through my friends blogs too
it was their family blog..
then i went to wei seen's blog...
Called the hidden locker..
this is where my heart touched and moved me a lot that teardrop came from my eyes without realising it..
it was one of her story from her exam last year..titled "I achieved my greatest triumph".
Since i have a faint and sensitive heart...
i read her story until the end ..
it was about a girl achieving her gaols..
i wish i was someone like the girl in the story too...
that really pushed me to my interest to have a goal to achieve in my life....
even though it was a story..
this why i wanted to update my blog to tell my heart out..
it was really difficult for me after reading it..
i can't tell my confusion to anyone..they will think that i am crazy..
this is the place where i can spilt all my trouble and painful memories of my heart out..and also my happiness of course....
WELL,,
that's why i am a YELLOW and A POPULAR SANGUINE according to the personality test i took..
i don't want anybody to know the trouble i am facing..
so i put a poker face in front of everyone to make them smile always..to brighten the darkness around me..i don't want anybody to be sad..i hate people with gloomy face..
so i always become the clown of my friends...
it makes me feel happy too..
to see them laugh because of me..and think that i am crazy..it so deep...for me..
even tough they say i am childish and behaving crazyly
this just because i don't want serious moments well i am a fun type love adventures..


The truth its all fake when i know that it still won't go from me, the confusion i am having inside of me..
when i go back home i will have my bathe,then i will start thinking what am i going to become in the future..?
what am i going to achieve?
what is actually going to happen to me ??
it's all because my dad's single question,
'hemlatha,what did u decided to do after your SPM? what is your ambition?
i knew the answer but its just that it's not the right moment for me to tell them
even though it's the right moment,i know they won't agree to it,
its totally out of my subject i am studying..
can i do it??
myy dad wants me to become something hich is related to science and medical field...
he gave some idea...
i went throug the net but i couldn't find anything that interest me...
all i have is one..deep inside my heart..
but it will be ridiculous if anyone knows it..

So i will wait...

COFFEE