The lack of something.
What is it?
I keep trying to find it but its like trying to find needle in a haystack.
Something I need to find it myself.
Something in me.
What is it?
Sunday, 20 March 2016
Monday, 21 December 2015
Song For You
A perfect tune up. Some one was playing guitar in the neighbourhood.
A young girl walking pass by the junction can hear it. Its half past ten at night. Her tiring day went in a blink of an eye with the guitar playing in the background. She sat on the bench near the neighbourhood walkaway and kept on listening to the play. Few times that person adjusted the tune and corrected the melody in between but she loved it. She smiled as it ended and there was no more music in the background.
Little did she know that, this music was going to change the course of her life.
------------------------------------
"Alice! Take the order for table number 8,"
"Okay,"
Alice walked to table number 8, where a bunch of young guys were seated looking at their menus.
"Hi, welcome to Honey Star Cafe, ready to order?"
"Hi, sure, I'll have one green tea latte and a glass of water,"
"Hi, I'll have a hot chocolate,"
Alice took down the order and was waiting for the next two of them to order.
"Milk,"
"..." No response from the last one.
"Your order?" Alice looked at the last person who was busy scribbling something on his white paper. He was on earphones.
"Alex," The guy next to him swatted his arm. Now everyone was looking at him.
"Coffee, thanks."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Its afternoon after Alice's first day of college. Her orientation ended early so she decided to head back home before her shift work starts. The weather was getting windier and clouds were getting denser. And all the sudden, it started pouring. "Oh shit."
She rushed towards the nearest shop she was walking by and entered to avoid getting her papers and books wet.
Turning around, she realised it was an instrument store. It was as though she had entered heaven. The smell of the wooden crafted ukuleles, guitars and pianos made her want to live in them. She saw a beautiful white piano displayed. She got closer to it and laid her fingers on the key.
"Beautiful isn't she?" Alice was awaken from her trance by a male voice and jumped back.
"Oh, sorry I didnt mean to touch it," She apologize.
"No, no, no worries. If you can play, go on," He smiled. He was a young man.
"Oh I, I-, I don't play," Alice was embarrassed by the fact. "I just love music but I'm not a good player," She snickered a sly laugh.
The young man moved closer to the piano and laid both his hands on the piano. Fingers spread, he started playing a tune. Though she couldn't recognize the play, it was a slow and smooth melody.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Alice was walking to her next class when she heard something very familiar. She stood still. Turning around looking for where it was coming from, she saw a closed door labelled "Music Room". Interest pitched in her but she was already running late for class.
Anyhow she took the chance to glimpse through the glass window to only see a about 10 people sitting in a round. She couldn't guess who was playing it.
Why was she so curious about it anyway? She shook her head and ran for her next class.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
A young girl walking pass by the junction can hear it. Its half past ten at night. Her tiring day went in a blink of an eye with the guitar playing in the background. She sat on the bench near the neighbourhood walkaway and kept on listening to the play. Few times that person adjusted the tune and corrected the melody in between but she loved it. She smiled as it ended and there was no more music in the background.
Little did she know that, this music was going to change the course of her life.
------------------------------------
"Alice! Take the order for table number 8,"
"Okay,"
Alice walked to table number 8, where a bunch of young guys were seated looking at their menus.
"Hi, welcome to Honey Star Cafe, ready to order?"
"Hi, sure, I'll have one green tea latte and a glass of water,"
"Hi, I'll have a hot chocolate,"
Alice took down the order and was waiting for the next two of them to order.
"Milk,"
"..." No response from the last one.
"Your order?" Alice looked at the last person who was busy scribbling something on his white paper. He was on earphones.
"Alex," The guy next to him swatted his arm. Now everyone was looking at him.
"Coffee, thanks."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Its afternoon after Alice's first day of college. Her orientation ended early so she decided to head back home before her shift work starts. The weather was getting windier and clouds were getting denser. And all the sudden, it started pouring. "Oh shit."
She rushed towards the nearest shop she was walking by and entered to avoid getting her papers and books wet.
Turning around, she realised it was an instrument store. It was as though she had entered heaven. The smell of the wooden crafted ukuleles, guitars and pianos made her want to live in them. She saw a beautiful white piano displayed. She got closer to it and laid her fingers on the key.
"Beautiful isn't she?" Alice was awaken from her trance by a male voice and jumped back.
"Oh, sorry I didnt mean to touch it," She apologize.
"No, no, no worries. If you can play, go on," He smiled. He was a young man.
"Oh I, I-, I don't play," Alice was embarrassed by the fact. "I just love music but I'm not a good player," She snickered a sly laugh.
The young man moved closer to the piano and laid both his hands on the piano. Fingers spread, he started playing a tune. Though she couldn't recognize the play, it was a slow and smooth melody.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Alice was walking to her next class when she heard something very familiar. She stood still. Turning around looking for where it was coming from, she saw a closed door labelled "Music Room". Interest pitched in her but she was already running late for class.
Anyhow she took the chance to glimpse through the glass window to only see a about 10 people sitting in a round. She couldn't guess who was playing it.
Why was she so curious about it anyway? She shook her head and ran for her next class.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
'MUSIC CLUB AUDITION'
"Hey want to join?" Alice heard people whispering to their friends.
She was standing at the official notice board looking for something to join but he eye caught the music club audition. What can a girl like her do there? She can't sing and she can't play. Defeated by her own low self-esteem, she walk away but she took note of the date since it was an open invitation.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Next! Jason," One of the audition conductor called out names of each participants for their performance.
"Jason?" Alice wondered where she have seen that face before.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
It was Alice's free time and she told her new friends that she was not going to join them for lunch and catch them during class.
Walking down the familiar hallway, she found the room again.
This time she opened it. It wasn't locked and no one was in. The minute she stepped in, she felt a totally different vibe.
Someone cleared their throat from behind her. Goosebumps.
Turning, she saw a guy standing behind the opened door looking at her.
"Are you a new member?" He asked.
Familiar face again but her memory was blur on it.
"Err, I n-, ye-, err, yes, yes, I thought there was going to be a meet up or something?" She lied.
"There is?" He questioned more to himself.
"I guess not, maybe not today, I might have mixed up the date and time. I'm sorry, I'll get going," She was about to leave when he said, "Maybe I'll teach my juniors something if you are free,"
Stoned, Alice stood still figuring out a way to run away.
"You play or sing?" He asked.
"Sing," She answered straight away and facepalmed inside her heart.
With few tuning on the bass guitar chords, he started picking on the strings with a plectrum.
Alice don't quite understand what got into her but she started singing, "and at last I see the lights, and its like the fog is lifted, and at last I see the lights, and its like the sky is new,"
Alice don't quite understand what got into her but she started singing, "and at last I see the lights, and its like the fog is lifted, and at last I see the lights, and its like the sky is new,"
He kept on playing while looking at her.
"I can't continue, I have class to attend," Her face was burning.
"Okay, see you soon then,"
"Okay, see you soon then,"
Alice made a quick move to leave the room.
"Hey you sing well," was the last she heard.
She closed the door and ran.
----------------------------------------------------------
Wednesday, 2 December 2015
Tuesday, 24 November 2015
Sunday, 15 November 2015
Lessons from How I Met Your Mother.
So I have finally finished watching this so called super popular American TV series 'How I Met Your Mother'. The wholeeeeee 9 seasons in 1 months plus. LOL. Thanks to my crazy bestie (Well you know who your are) for recommending it to me. I totally fell in love with the series from the first episode itself. I highly recommend it to everyone. YES, EVERYONE. I went through hell of emotions while watching this series. Laughing when its silly and crying when it got tooo emotional. Besides, Watching How I Met Your Mother has made me learn a lot of lessons not just about relationship but also life lessons. What real life would be like sometimes. Here are few quotes, dialogues, maybe some are opinions that have made me realize about life and love.
"Shouldn't we hold out for the person who doesn't just tolerate our little quirks but actually kinda likes them?" - Ted
"There are certain things in life where you know its a mistake but you don't really know its a mistake because the only way to really know its a mistake is to make a mistake and look back and say yeap that was a mistake. So really, the bigger mistake would be not make the mistake then you really go your whole life not knowing it was a mistake or not." - Lily.
"Life has plenty of good parts, its the rough parts that makes you thankful that you have people to share it with"
When choosing your friends, imagine sitting on your front porch with them 50 years from now. Do you still want them to be there with you? If not, they’re not worth your time.
When you meet the right person you know it. You cant stop thinking about them. They are your best friend and your soulmate. You cant wait to spend the rest of your life with them and nothing else can compare.
"Your gonna lose a relationship if you keep lying, cutting a person out of decisions, if you keep using words like winning and losing when we talking about our marriage, its not gonna happen all at once but little by little, you gonna lose me," - Lily Aldrin.
"Its not crazy. It's love. If your looking for the word that means caring for someone beyond all rationality and wanting them to have everything they want no matter how much it destroys you, its love and when you love someone, you just don't stop, ever. Even if people roll their eyes, call you crazy even then, especially then you don't give up because if I could give up, I take someone elses advice and move on, that wouldn't be love, that would be some other disposable thing that is not worth fighting for," Ted.
'Most importantly, whatever you do in your life, its not legendary unless your friends are there to see it.' - Barney.
No matter how hard we try even the best of us goes a little wild sometimes and in those moments we all need someone to help us rally.
Every relationship requires some level of compromise, after all, a couple can't work if they both had a personal mandate of "my way or the highway".
When you find someone you wanna keep around, you wanna do something about it.
None of us can vow to be perfect, in the end all you can do is promise to love each other with everything we got because love is the best thing we do.
"The future is scary but you can't just run back to the past because its familiar. Yes its tempting but its a mistake," - Robin.
"Being in love doesn't mean being "perfect." If you're afraid to have arguments, everything will just build up to the point where it's unhealthy, resentment breeds or things become completely explosive."
Learn to read between the lines. The most important things aren't directly said.
Chemistry is important, but its not eternal. You need a strong foundation for when the sexy stuff fades, because it will.
Do not postpone your own happiness.
I wonder how the screenwriter can come up with such nice things to say and some of them are kinda true too. Well though the ending of the last season was kind of a bummer @@ I had a great time watching it.
Peace!
Love,
Coffee.
"Shouldn't we hold out for the person who doesn't just tolerate our little quirks but actually kinda likes them?" - Ted
"There are certain things in life where you know its a mistake but you don't really know its a mistake because the only way to really know its a mistake is to make a mistake and look back and say yeap that was a mistake. So really, the bigger mistake would be not make the mistake then you really go your whole life not knowing it was a mistake or not." - Lily.
"Life has plenty of good parts, its the rough parts that makes you thankful that you have people to share it with"
When choosing your friends, imagine sitting on your front porch with them 50 years from now. Do you still want them to be there with you? If not, they’re not worth your time.
When you meet the right person you know it. You cant stop thinking about them. They are your best friend and your soulmate. You cant wait to spend the rest of your life with them and nothing else can compare.
"Your gonna lose a relationship if you keep lying, cutting a person out of decisions, if you keep using words like winning and losing when we talking about our marriage, its not gonna happen all at once but little by little, you gonna lose me," - Lily Aldrin.
"Its not crazy. It's love. If your looking for the word that means caring for someone beyond all rationality and wanting them to have everything they want no matter how much it destroys you, its love and when you love someone, you just don't stop, ever. Even if people roll their eyes, call you crazy even then, especially then you don't give up because if I could give up, I take someone elses advice and move on, that wouldn't be love, that would be some other disposable thing that is not worth fighting for," Ted.
'Most importantly, whatever you do in your life, its not legendary unless your friends are there to see it.' - Barney.
No matter how hard we try even the best of us goes a little wild sometimes and in those moments we all need someone to help us rally.
Every relationship requires some level of compromise, after all, a couple can't work if they both had a personal mandate of "my way or the highway".
When you find someone you wanna keep around, you wanna do something about it.
None of us can vow to be perfect, in the end all you can do is promise to love each other with everything we got because love is the best thing we do.
"The future is scary but you can't just run back to the past because its familiar. Yes its tempting but its a mistake," - Robin.
"Being in love doesn't mean being "perfect." If you're afraid to have arguments, everything will just build up to the point where it's unhealthy, resentment breeds or things become completely explosive."
Learn to read between the lines. The most important things aren't directly said.
Chemistry is important, but its not eternal. You need a strong foundation for when the sexy stuff fades, because it will.
Do not postpone your own happiness.
I wonder how the screenwriter can come up with such nice things to say and some of them are kinda true too. Well though the ending of the last season was kind of a bummer @@ I had a great time watching it.
Peace!
Love,
Coffee.
Monday, 5 October 2015
Mis-takes.
"There are certain things in life where you know its a mistake but you don't really know its a mistake because the only way to really know its a mistake is to make a mistake and look back and say yeap that was a mistake. So really, the bigger mistake would be not make the mistake then you really go your whole life not knowing it was a mistake or not." - How I Met Your Mother.
Monday, 27 July 2015
Stars of Libraria
"Ella you can't keep daydreaming! This is our life, we have to accept it," Lea was hanging on me with her hands on both my arms.
"I hate it Li. I hate what we are doing, I hate this place and I hate that I hate it!" I'm not crying but anger tears are escaping.
Lea folded her arms against her chest and sighed, "I've got to go. Lady Jane will be waiting for her wine. You'll be alright alone?" There was concern on her eyes and voice but I just nod.
Lea, I call her Li and she's used to it. Serving the Majesty Lady Jane of Libraria, we are servants of the house.
Yes, servants.
Coming from a fourth tier family, people like us either opt to work as social servants outside this castle or inside. Females/ girls like us usually opt for inside because its definitely safer than outside. Social servants outside are mostly mans and work as soldiers, facing interstate wars for state peace.
Recently there is an eruption of wars due to placement of Lady Jane as Majesty of Libraria. Its not the interstate but in state as well. People hating each other, talking behind their backs. Well, only ways that got us surviving is to be neutral and work as nothing is happening around you.
Lea and I got into as servants 4 months ago. We are not related but our family comes from the fourth tier.
There are 5 different tiers of family.
First are the Majesties and his or her family.
Second tiers are the ministers who are directly under the Majesty
Thirds are sellers. They are usually those who can afford to open markets to sell stuffs from vegetables to cloths to guns.
Fourth tiers are people who volunteers to work with the Majesty as servants or soldiers. That's where my family stand. Dad was a soldier and he died in a war. Mum doesnt work but she uses our money and survives in our house back in Water Alley. My bro is still young and he's under a must go education system that really does not help your future.
And there's fifth tier, people in this tier are people who cant afford anything. They are either homeless or works with the sellers for small amount of money. That can only afford to buy food.
I was forced to work inside because girls my age are not allowed to be soldiers or go to war. I have knowledge in medicine and healing but what's the point if I'm cleaning house and doing house chores in this big house?
I've helped people with my healing stone and medicinal knowledge. That was when I met Julian.
To describe him, it might take me hours. But his eyes in the color of deep sea. You can't see past his eyes if you look at him. Shoulders broad enough that shows just how much power he has in his hands at the The First Son of Lady Jane. If there's one thing I know about Julian is he has this bright charming smile and kind heart. He fights for the state with other soldiers below him. People trust him. He brings the trust in them. Tousled brown hair that grows pass his eyebrow as well as being a brainiac is enough for girls to swoon over him.
Julian.
"You have got to go back to the castle El, its not safe to keep roaming around here,"
"I'm not leaving. People need me here. Its not getting any better with this war Julian. I've got to stay! You cant just ask me to go back after everything that is going on and will happen! I can't leave you like this too,"
"Dont make me do it," He was talking through his breath. Anger. A very rare one.
"I won't,"
"If people find out who you are and what you are, you cant longer help them. They will take away your stone and your knowledge in a blink of an eye," He was whispering. So much closer to my ears now.
It was dark and were were surrounded by tall trees. It was not really a good spot to talk secretly but what choice do we have? Not his camp and not mine either.
"But I'll miss you," Ii was so low but he heard it. Julian has sharp ears.
I came in as a healer because my dad was able to get me in. People who knows my dad knows me but not everyone. Most of them think I'm a guy who covers himself with emergency mask and cap. Keeping my hair short was an advantage. This was what I wanted to do. To help people and it took me almost a month to convince my dad.
Julian. How did he know? Because of a most pathetic reason. He knows. He just knows.
One day when there was a retreat from another state, I was helping Julian for the first time. I have no idea who I was helping.
"How did you got in here?" He ask quietly as I was wrapping his arm with bandage.
His question was tricky but I got the idea on what was his question.
"My dad told me you were hurt. He pointed to this direction," I told him anyhow to divert it.
"No. You. You are not-"
"Shhhhhh" I silenced him.
He was shocked at my action of putting one of my fingers on his lips.
I quickly took it away knowing my mistake.
"Please. Dont tell me in. I want to help you guys. Please,"
He chuckled and I wasnt sure if he's serious or teasing. That was when I really saw who he was.
"My Sir, is everything ok?" My dad came up to us. Sir? My face started to heat up realising who I was treating. It was The First Son of Lady Jane. I locked my eyes on him but he wasnt looking at me. So this is the son?
"Ah, yes," Julian gave a no-problem nod. Dad looked at me and it signaled my time to leave the place and go find others who needs my help.
"Ella? Ella wake up," Some one shook me awake and I stood straight up realizing I shouldnt have fell asleep in the first place.
It was Lea.
"Oh my gosh, I-, I was supposed to bring dinner to Kyle!" My face started to turn red. It seriously was a big mistake to fell asleep. Oh no, no, no. Kyle is not your kind of person to handle.
I look at Lea agaped. Thinking of an excuse for bring his dinner late.
"I've already gave him his dinner," Lea said smiling and I can see she was tired.
Kyle, The Second Son of Lady Jane was a ruthless guy, he throws food if he doesnt like it, he shouts at the servants if they didnt bring his breakfast to his room. He ignores his mother's command at times. He get drunks. I've seen worse of Kyle when he threw all his dinner away because I was late by few minutes for the first time I met Kyle. He was the total opposite of Julian.
"I hate it Li. I hate what we are doing, I hate this place and I hate that I hate it!" I'm not crying but anger tears are escaping.
Lea folded her arms against her chest and sighed, "I've got to go. Lady Jane will be waiting for her wine. You'll be alright alone?" There was concern on her eyes and voice but I just nod.
Lea, I call her Li and she's used to it. Serving the Majesty Lady Jane of Libraria, we are servants of the house.
Yes, servants.
Coming from a fourth tier family, people like us either opt to work as social servants outside this castle or inside. Females/ girls like us usually opt for inside because its definitely safer than outside. Social servants outside are mostly mans and work as soldiers, facing interstate wars for state peace.
Recently there is an eruption of wars due to placement of Lady Jane as Majesty of Libraria. Its not the interstate but in state as well. People hating each other, talking behind their backs. Well, only ways that got us surviving is to be neutral and work as nothing is happening around you.
Lea and I got into as servants 4 months ago. We are not related but our family comes from the fourth tier.
There are 5 different tiers of family.
First are the Majesties and his or her family.
Second tiers are the ministers who are directly under the Majesty
Thirds are sellers. They are usually those who can afford to open markets to sell stuffs from vegetables to cloths to guns.
Fourth tiers are people who volunteers to work with the Majesty as servants or soldiers. That's where my family stand. Dad was a soldier and he died in a war. Mum doesnt work but she uses our money and survives in our house back in Water Alley. My bro is still young and he's under a must go education system that really does not help your future.
And there's fifth tier, people in this tier are people who cant afford anything. They are either homeless or works with the sellers for small amount of money. That can only afford to buy food.
I was forced to work inside because girls my age are not allowed to be soldiers or go to war. I have knowledge in medicine and healing but what's the point if I'm cleaning house and doing house chores in this big house?
I've helped people with my healing stone and medicinal knowledge. That was when I met Julian.
To describe him, it might take me hours. But his eyes in the color of deep sea. You can't see past his eyes if you look at him. Shoulders broad enough that shows just how much power he has in his hands at the The First Son of Lady Jane. If there's one thing I know about Julian is he has this bright charming smile and kind heart. He fights for the state with other soldiers below him. People trust him. He brings the trust in them. Tousled brown hair that grows pass his eyebrow as well as being a brainiac is enough for girls to swoon over him.
Julian.
"You have got to go back to the castle El, its not safe to keep roaming around here,"
"I'm not leaving. People need me here. Its not getting any better with this war Julian. I've got to stay! You cant just ask me to go back after everything that is going on and will happen! I can't leave you like this too,"
"Dont make me do it," He was talking through his breath. Anger. A very rare one.
"I won't,"
"If people find out who you are and what you are, you cant longer help them. They will take away your stone and your knowledge in a blink of an eye," He was whispering. So much closer to my ears now.
It was dark and were were surrounded by tall trees. It was not really a good spot to talk secretly but what choice do we have? Not his camp and not mine either.
"But I'll miss you," Ii was so low but he heard it. Julian has sharp ears.
I came in as a healer because my dad was able to get me in. People who knows my dad knows me but not everyone. Most of them think I'm a guy who covers himself with emergency mask and cap. Keeping my hair short was an advantage. This was what I wanted to do. To help people and it took me almost a month to convince my dad.
Julian. How did he know? Because of a most pathetic reason. He knows. He just knows.
One day when there was a retreat from another state, I was helping Julian for the first time. I have no idea who I was helping.
"How did you got in here?" He ask quietly as I was wrapping his arm with bandage.
His question was tricky but I got the idea on what was his question.
"My dad told me you were hurt. He pointed to this direction," I told him anyhow to divert it.
"No. You. You are not-"
"Shhhhhh" I silenced him.
He was shocked at my action of putting one of my fingers on his lips.
I quickly took it away knowing my mistake.
"Please. Dont tell me in. I want to help you guys. Please,"
He chuckled and I wasnt sure if he's serious or teasing. That was when I really saw who he was.
"My Sir, is everything ok?" My dad came up to us. Sir? My face started to heat up realising who I was treating. It was The First Son of Lady Jane. I locked my eyes on him but he wasnt looking at me. So this is the son?
"Ah, yes," Julian gave a no-problem nod. Dad looked at me and it signaled my time to leave the place and go find others who needs my help.
"Ella? Ella wake up," Some one shook me awake and I stood straight up realizing I shouldnt have fell asleep in the first place.
It was Lea.
"Oh my gosh, I-, I was supposed to bring dinner to Kyle!" My face started to turn red. It seriously was a big mistake to fell asleep. Oh no, no, no. Kyle is not your kind of person to handle.
I look at Lea agaped. Thinking of an excuse for bring his dinner late.
"I've already gave him his dinner," Lea said smiling and I can see she was tired.
Kyle, The Second Son of Lady Jane was a ruthless guy, he throws food if he doesnt like it, he shouts at the servants if they didnt bring his breakfast to his room. He ignores his mother's command at times. He get drunks. I've seen worse of Kyle when he threw all his dinner away because I was late by few minutes for the first time I met Kyle. He was the total opposite of Julian.
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