I'm Just A Sad Song.

First of all, the title is due to the song that is currently being played on Youtube! Its been on repeat ever since my crazy bestie posted it on my wall. It has these addictive lyrics to it and nice melody. Sang by We The Kings ft. Elena Coats- Sad Song. Basically its a song about relationship. And since I do have a certain someone in my life, it suits me so well. THANK YOU SO MUCH SHU YUAN!

Back to business. I've been real busy for the last few days. Midterm exam is been going on since last week till next week. T,T After getting back one of my exam paper. I was so devastated. Only 28/50. Yesh, for my Food and Nutrient Evaluation paper. I felt so lifeless the moment I received my paper and went through it. Most of my friends had full marks. That's like freaking madness. Really. I was just too shocked and wondered how can they get full marks? Sigh. Then I realize, they have good memorizing skills. I imagined them having these really good brain that can absorb almost all the lecture notes in one go. While me, being pathetic enough to even absorb half of the lecture notes and most of it runs out of my head when I study a new chapter. =,= which was so saddening.

I came home that day, sat on my study table's chair and started to wonder. Is this how a science based student have to be? Is this how all science student have to be to get a good results? Memorize every single lines and sentence and words just to get good marks? Go mad memorizing without understanding it? That's what my lecturer told me. It no point you understand, you have to put the exact word that's inside to get the marks. You are a science student, be scientific. I was so speechless that I almost wanted to tell her this is not fair. Not fair to the people who understand and explain it in their own way to the one who actually memorized the whole thing exactly in the notes. I mean come on! What's the diff if you put;

Students answer: 'Mix the food sample and solvent into the beaker' and lecture notes: 'add the food sample into the beaker containing solvent'

Is there any difference? Both of them sound the same to me and still 0 marks given.
Then I wonder am I not a science student? Why can't I memorize scientifically?
I felt so lifeless thinking about it.
Being a low-brained and not good at memorizing and you still wanna get good results means you have to be studying every single day. That's what I think it's supposed to be like. And the pressure of seeing your friends getting good marks and you parents spending you money to make sure you study well and get really good results too, I had a mental breakdown. Like finally and real one.

I screamed at the wall. Luckily no one was home. Screamed and screamed. I felt so weird. Heart beating so rapidly then I shut my self up. Stopped screaming and calmed myself. There that was better I said to myself.

The next day, I had another exam. So I studied so hard for it. Slept at 2 am after really making myself sure that I can do my paper well enough. So when I took the exam, thunder strikes me. I memorized all the lecture notes given and actually left out just A SINGLE PIECE OF TUTORIAL PAPER THINKING IT WONT BE ASKED IN THE EXAM. And jeng jeng jeng, you know what happened right? There was a freaking 20 marks question on just that single sheet of paper that I IGNORED. There you go. Sigh. But I managed to write something though.

So next week another two more papers and reports to hand in. There goes my life.